DRIVEN. Jaguar XFR-S
Feature | crankandpiston.com / EVO Middle East
James goes ambitious and takes the 2014MY Jaguar XFR-S madman for a hoon on the UAE’s Nürburgring. At night.
Originally posted – 3 June, 2014 | crankandpiston.com | EVO Middle East magazine
Jebel Jais. A ribbon of tarmac stretching nearly 7km across Ras Al Khaimah’s mountain range and incorporating hairpin bends, tight chicanes and long sweeping left and right handers. It’s a run guaranteed to put both tyre grip and mental fortitude to the test, and represents driving nirvana in the United Arab Emirates. So when Jaguar offered us some time with its 2014MY XFR-S – a fire-spitting version of its established XF saloon – Jebel Jais was the perfect location. Indeed, where better to test Jaguar’s alternative to the BMW M5 and the Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG?
But then a second thought struck. The number of photos and questionable YouTube uploads from Jebel Jais are in the thousands, but not once have we come across images of the run at night. Why? Why has seemingly nobody taken on the near-6000ft climb after sun-down? And thus the decision was made. crankandpiston.com would take on the UAE’s Nürburgring in a 542bhp Polaris White Jaguar XFR-S. In the dark.
7.30pm. After a suitably ‘relaxing’ day at C&P GHQ, we – that’s crankandpiston photographer Arun and I – begin loading the XFR-S with all manner of lighting equipment, camera bodies, lenses and tripods for what could be the most ambitious photo set we’ve ever undertaken. Whilst this is not our first night shoot, a photographer’s perpetual search for the ‘right light’ is made even more difficult when there is none at all. In the absence of street lamps and occupied buildings at Jebel Jais, the full moon, our lighting equipment and the Jag’s headlights are all we have to work with. As we roll out, Arun and I are already beginning to wonder whether we’ve been a bit ambitious…
9pm. Having battled our way through a surprising amount of commuter traffic onto the main perimeter road from Dubai to Ras Al Khaimah, two points are clear. The angry, menacing looks of the XFR-S have already proven a head-turner on the road, and wave after wave of oncoming headlights from the other carriageway mean our eyelids are already starting to feel the strain. Time to pull over at a service station to top up the car, top up ourselves, and stuff the rear seats with as many Red Bulls and breakfast Subs as we can.
10pm. After an uncannily quiet run through the city centre (save iPhone shots of the Jag from passing motorists), self, Arun and the Cat begin our climb into the Ras Al Khaimah mountain range. A decidedly eery experience it proves too. During the day, the vast expanse of rock jutting out of the ground can be seen many kilometres away. Tonight though, with only the mountain outline against the skyline, the rockface seemingly looms out of nowhere as we begin the climb, leaving civilisation behind as we do so.
A couple of headlights heading in the opposite direction aside, we see nobody. Quite literally. With the headlights on full beam, I still have no idea which direction the mountain road is going to twist next, and tempting as it is to open the taps on that 5.0-litre supercharged V8 growling under the bonnet, I daren’t, should a road hump suddenly appear from nowhere (I’ve already been caught off guard by two of them).
11pm. It’s taken a while, but we finally make it to the top of the hill. What little light there is comes from our headlights, the moon directly above us, and…that’s about it. There are no other cars. No signs of life. And a stunning view, devoid of haze and cloud, dropping thousands of feet into the valley below. It proves to be both stunning, and incredibly creepy: as we park up and begin to assemble the equipment, sounds coming out of the darkness make both of us a little jumpy.
The menacing look of the XFR-S are an inspiration as we try to regain some of our lost masculinity. Let’s not mess around: the Jaguar XRF-S is a simply stunning design, elegance and subtlety being firmly dumped off the design easel in favour of ‘phwoar’ and “what you lookin’ at?!” At the front, we find two air intakes on the already rippled bonnet plus those angrily carved headlamps and side bumper vents. The rear, meanwhile, boasts the cheekiest of tail-lip spoilers and dual twin exhaust pipes, which go nicely with those whopping 20-inch ‘Varuna’ alloy wheels. It’s a style designed to be stared at, and, love it or loathe it, it’s phenomenally effective.
The high altitude may be affecting me slightly, but I wonder if this is the best-looking saloon we’ve ever driven…
1am. So far, so good. Several atmospheric static shots are already in the can, but now it’s time to take a run down the hill to capture the brake light ‘trails’. Again, it’s a tricky shot to pull off, and may take me a couple of efforts to get right. But I don’t mind, since the run down the hill, whilst managing 542bhp through my right foot, gives me a chance to see what performance lies beneath the fur.
As opposed to its tamer XF base, the R-S badge brings with it reconfigured suspension, those bigger wheels and grippier tyres, and additional grunt, all of which naturally equates to some pretty impressive handling. Even though I’m not hooning the wheel nuts off the XFR-S (it would help if I could see where I’m going…), there’s still plenty of lairiness in the back wheels to make me feel like the rear could snap at any moment. Given the close proximity of the cliff-face and the distinct lack of XFR-S cash in my wallet, I decide against disabling the traction control until I’ve got a bit of space to work with.
Which is just as well. On Jebel Jais’ dusty surfaces, the front wheels are beginning to slide, despite the extraordinary grip. On surer ground, the front end is never far from the apex I’m aiming for, solid weighty steering allowing me to keep the nose pegged to the road whilst I concentrate on keeping the rears in-line.
The handling though is just part of the showcase. The other is that superb lump of power under the bonnet. Hit the loud pedal with vim and the front just leaps away in acceptance. Short sharp gear changes via the eight-speed Quickshift automatic box allow me to keep up momentum on the straights, whilst those enormous brake discs allow me to wrestle the Big Cat back under some semblance of control. It’s all very composed and yet, at the same time, potentially lethal. Even on the creepy Jebel Jais road, in the pitch black, it’s an absolute hoot. Albeit a heart-pumper.
What does rattle the enthusiasm though is the engine noise, or I should say lack of it. On start-up, and as the nifty rotary gear shifter rises out of the centre console, the XFR-S emits a low menacing growl that is surprisingly tame. A note that only rises in ferocity the further up the rev range we go. But so good are the acoustics that only a muted tone can be heard in the cabin. And then there’s those plastic paddle shifters. Why Jaguar? WHY?!
3am. Having made our way further down the mountain (in my absence, Arun was convinced someone – something – was staring at him through the darkness), fatigue has started to kick in. With only one Red Bull left apiece, we have to start pacing ourselves. In it’s own way, bizarrely, the XFR-S hasn’t made life easier for our weary noggins. The supportive seats, for instance, are ridiculously comfortable, and when our shoot finally wraps, it doesn’t take Arun long to fall asleep in the passenger cell. There’s also plenty of head and legroom, allowing us to stretch our weary limbs and once again encourage Mr Sandman to take a swing. We’d better get a move on and get these final shots done.
4.30am. At last, the final image is loaded onto the memory card, and we call it a night…er, morning. Far off in the distance, calls to prayer have started sounding, reminding us that for some, the day is just beginning. We’re both completely knackered, fatigue only slightly alleviated by a breakfast Subway each and some (mercifully) cold bottles of water as we start our journey back to Dubai.
This hasn’t knocked my enthusiasm for the Jaguar XFR-S though. With the R-S nomenclature, Jaguar has introduced a slice of lunacy into its normally elegant and sophisticated ensemble. It’s a pattern that the boys in Coventry do very well, and it’s clear to see why. There are no apologies with the XFR-S. Sure, on the inside, it’s refined and comfortable. But on the outside, it’s all business.
Fortunately for me, it’s also helped keep me awake. Perhaps next time though, we’ll stick to Jebel Jais during the day.
Images | Awesome Group and Arun M. Nair
Feature | crankandpiston.com / EVO Middle East | James Gent